I'm not totally sure if I'm over-reacting, or if D is actually being a total fuckpig on this one.

Here's the sitch.

Minding my own business, doing some casual facebooking and chatting. Out of nowhere, he strikes up a conversation on msn.

Uh, what? We haven't spoken in depth for months besides when we've been forced to in large social situations and suddenly it's time for small talk? Eat shit!

Anyway, I decided to indulge his efforts for reasons completely unbeknownst to me, and then somewhere in between "How's it going" and "What's new?" he slips in:

D: Uh, can I ask you a somewhat personal question?
Me: Yeah sure. (I mean after a certain point, nothing is too personal wiht a guy anymore, ya know?)
D: Was I your first?

...

EX. CUSE. ME.

I honestly didn't know what to say! The answer's no, and we'd been through these sorts of details before we actually had sex the first time together. Furthermore, who the hell asks that so far down the road? Honestly, I didn't know what to make of it.

Until.

Declared on facebook before my very own sparkling eyes, oh, D is now in a relationship! Splendid. With a total troll! Who SCREAMS innocentnaivegirlwhocantsaypeniswithoutgiggling.

Naturally, I couldn't let this go without more investigation and called the bastard a day or so later, asking what his motives were behind such a question.

The reason? Oh, simply that his new gf was a virgin and he was wondering if I could offer any perspective on what being deflowered (particularly by him) was like to aid her in this magical journey of their love. Fuck. Right. Off.

You want ME to help YOU with your new relationship? Ugh. The balls to ask that question for THAT reason just infuriated me.

Especially when I really felt like responding, "Well, it shouldn't be too bad for her since you have such a tiny unpleasing dick."

But I restrained myself. For now.